Wednesday, October 31, 2007


And she came.

):

---

Didn't go for work today.

Lazy.

=p


3 more papers to go!

Yeah!!!






I promise to be your secret box.
Not going to drop out any letters from it.
I promise.
Just throw ur things in the box,
And it will be sealed.

=)




Tuesday, October 30, 2007


I know u gonna be mad about me.
But I've tried my best.
I'm sorry.






Maths paper 2 sux!

So many questions on mensuration la. sian.. My graph and algebra no problem.. sickening mensuration!

I'm gonna die.. my maths..

My maths teacher is so nice.. I like him.. he's so encouraging. I message him, tell him how I feel before exams and after my paper, he kept encouraging me, kept saying that I can. I can. And though I told him my paper 2 no hope le, but he still think that I can make it. Hais.. I don't wanna disappoint him... He even called me yesterday, to tell me what to study, what to focus on la.. how nice of him..

(:

Thanks Mr Sukaimi. (:

Right!

I don't wanna think about my finished papers. I'm gonna strive hard for the rest of my paper which is phy paper2, science and geog paper 1.

Jia you!!

*have faith*

If I have faith as small as a mustard seed, nothing will be impossible for me. Matthew 17:20

God can do a lot of great things for us even if our faith is small. That's the beauty of our Lord!

---

Walk under the rain when came home.

water spraying on me. The feeling is good. Not like those big droplets of rain. But tiny little droplet that falls to the ground and when the wind blow, the feeling was great. (:

rain.

and now it's Sunny.

=D

---

Aww... u trust me.

I'm so touched.

thank u...

(:

hugs......




Sunday, October 28, 2007


I'm shock. to see that to happen. and it's. to me.

What's wrong with u?!

TOTALLY A BAD DAY FOR ME!

poooof!

Elmo's mouth out of shape!! =(

sorry baby...

And I left ur letter in my bag. Thought I didn't bring it out. sorry baby.. (:

Ger my dear gal, don't sad k. (: I'm here for u. (: love u loads....!!!




Saturday, October 27, 2007


AHH!

even the blog also want to annoy me!

What's wrong with it?!?!?

Pfft!






Happy birthday to my dearest baby Eunice and Jesslyn!!

Jess, My present for u, nice rite? u'll definiately like love the present de. Hor? haha.. must post and show to others.. see I know u so well.. haha.. =p

Well, whole day kind of pissed... at u .
It's not that I don't want to go what. Is she didn't reply me leh. So I treat it as not going, and I'm suppose to be this week's support singer. I know right now I shouldn't involve in anything, but I've promised Aunt Hui ping le lor. Furthermore, if I didn't go today, there won't be any support lor. Only peter. -.-''

I'm so mad today la.

>=(

Yeah! Today will be the LAST time that I'm going to Bz house.. to study la..

NO MORE!

humph!

If the next time I'll be going, I'll go there and play...

bleah.

Went tampines mall to shop for baby's present. Don't know what to get for her. But as I walk around, I saw the elmo bolster.

Suddenly remembered that she like elmo

Hope u'll like it ya. (:

Love ya baby loads!!!!

Muacks!!

---

ARGH!

I'M SO PISSED LA!

Pfft!!!





Friday, October 26, 2007


Why?!

Why must I listen to u in this? I do have my own choices of what am I gonna work in the future. Why do u keep 'sycho-ing' me? I want to pursue my dream, or do work what is my INTEREST or the job that I don't feel bored.

Property agent?!

I don't like to do all those agent stuffs! That's not my zhuang chang! I don't like to become an agent! I hate going around, asking people to buy stuffs etc.. And I hate and didn't even think of being an agent in my ENTIRE life!

I know u wish me good, don't want me to suffer outside, to see the boss' face, and don't have flexible time for myself. But u don't expect me to stay there forever, WITHOUT letting me to step out of the comfort zone, to try out what is really best for me? I know. I'f there's no one in the office, nobody is helping u, and u'll not be able to handle so many things. But right now, I'm only working as a part-time job, temporary. I still work though the pay is low, but I can't work there for a long period if the pay is still so little right? I'm not saying anything. But think, if I'm working full time as what u told me, I only have to work 2 or 3 more hours compared to now, and my pay will be doubled. SO? It still VERY little. If I work outside, just part time, I can earn more than this amount.

I know ur problems. But I simply can't work there, for so long, and I got so little amount. My mum disagree of me going there to work, cos I earn so little. She said outside job, per month, is so much more than this.

Do u know why I will agree to come and work? Bcos I know how much work load it has. And if no one help u, I don't think u can handle everything all by urself. And u know it urself too. It's not that I don't want to help u, but I really want to know what I'm really good for, and not just follow what u guys build a road for me.

I want to rely on myself.

And back to the point of property agent, u told me about ur plan, for asking me to work as property agent, and allies with the big agent company, and u said this will earn, and can succeed. And u ask me to go on course and it's free, work in the agency, to see and know how to sell houses etc.. and if there's nothing to work there, can come back office to do paper work.

And u even called the guy, and tell him that he's sending me over to attend courses, after november???

DID U EVEN ASK FOR MY CONSENT?!?!

NO!

U just tell me all thouse rubbish, and ask me to be obedient, to attend the course?!?

MY GOODNESS!

Is this fair for me? I didn't even nod my head la for goodness sake. I know u wei wo hao, but I don't want this! IT'S NOT MY INTEREST AND I WON"T GO FOR THE COURSE!

pfft!

Ur 2 precious might listen and follow what u want them to do. But sorry. I'm not going to do what I think I don't suit for, and I'm not interest in.

u guys might think that I'm rude, I didn't respect elder. Sorry. If u were me, will u guai guai and listen and to follow what people ask u to do?

It's my own future. I want to excel on my own. I don't want to kao people. Maybe next time, If I hui xin zhuan yi, I might go back office to help. Bi jing I have some of my own customer. My coach and my dad's company. I might come back for them cos if I I'm not coming back, if they want to know anything, I won't be able to answer.

So please. I have my own freedom of choice. Let me do what I want to do can?

I'm sick and tired of this.

>=(

Stop making life difficult for me.

---

Maths paper 1 on monday and paper 2 on tuesday.

hais.

what am I going to do?

I'm still sux at it.

gosh!

---

I want to become a kindergarten teacher, to teach little kids. (:

They are a bunch of cute little ones..

(:

But the pay is also pathetic.

1k plus?

Gosh.

Dear ask me to work with MOE, to teach primary or secondary. but, look at my standard now. How to teach Secondary?? or even upper primary? I like teaching kids. Or become a baker? I love baking cakes too!!

=D

These 2 are my childhood dream.

(:

Although u might think mei chu xi, but so? If no baker, where u get the bread from huh?

hurr...

I want to do what's really BEST for me!

NO ONE CAN STOP ME FROM DOING WHAT I WANT TO DO!

humph!




Wednesday, October 24, 2007


1 Down!

6 more to go!

Jia you!

=)

Chem paper 2 today.
Don't wish to give any comments about it.
And also to the rest of the papers.
I don't want to hae confidence on any paper cos if I said easy, the results will scare me.
So, I shall keep the comments to myself.
So, whoever it is, please don't ask me how I fair for my papers k.
thanks. =)

Geog paper 2 tomorrow.

Got to score for this.

Lord, please send down ur Holy spirit to bless me, to calm me down during exams.

Lucks!




Tuesday, October 23, 2007


Blogging is no longer just blog ur daily life so simple. It can also be a hidden message, a gossiping place and to vent ur anger.

Maybe it's good to have ur OWN blog, just like what marcus and baby is doing. Not to let people know their own privacy.

shall tone down soon.

So that I can write whatever things I want, without allowing people to talk over with it, to gossip around.
I'm not saying just my blog though.

Come to think of it, blogging is just another diary-ur personal stuffs. But why would we post out, to let others to view it? Maybe I'll just create another account just for ME, MYSELF and I.

Maybe, another blog will just be my own more personal blog ba. This blog will be just my normal life...

Shall find time and create one.. after O ba..

---

O level is just TOMORROW!

Chemistry paper 2.

boohoo...

I'm gonna die....

=x




Monday, October 22, 2007


Today is the last day of maths.

):

Kinda miss my maths class. I like me teacher. He's good. (:

Got his number after class, so that if I got question for my maths, I can meet him up for 'tuition'.

Sis called me whether is dear coming to fetch me after class. She ask me to go Tiong Baru to fetch my cousin. Thanks dear for fetching her just now and take care of her while waiting for me. (: thanks for the bubble tea too.. (:

-hugs-

---

2 more days.. gonna be my O level..




Friday, October 19, 2007


Science practical got SCREWED UP!

I failed my chem prac cos I don't know what the hack is asking for! My physic is doing well.. but my chem. And I've done a stupid thing for chem prac. Not only me, but wei en, Jess and min too. haha.. so dumb la.. U will never imagine we'll do this man.

I thought I was the only one will do it.

haha!!

SO DUMB!

It's raining very heavily when I'm going to Bowen sec. But thank goodness dear wasn't working yesterday, so he sent me to sch. (: After prac, rain heavily again. -.-'' And I called him so many times and he didn't answer, nor reply.

Well, went hougang mall to meet jess first then to compass to meet the rest. Saw wei hao. (: didn't see him for ages le.. Meet up with min, wei en and dickson.. And straightaway discuss about the prac.. haha.. (that's what we always do after exams.) So went swensens for lunch cum dinner. But I only had calamari! my favourite! =D Had so much fun spending time together. (: So long didn't do this le.. hee.. they went up to visit my mum.. haha.. Wei en, please check properly before saying so loud.

Dear already at compass le.. So we went back, sent jess to her ah gong house.. (: say I'm good.. haha =p

Went airport to fetch dear's mum and uncle steve.

(:

Gonna meet yan yuan and Jin yu tml to study for chem. Exams starts on the 24th! which is the COMING wed! Her chem so good, so got her to teach me.. =D

Do I need to go Bingzheng house tml?? =x




Wednesday, October 17, 2007


Right. Finally got the time to do the quiz.

Here it goes.

List out the top 5 presents you wish for-
1) Lab top?? =x
2) more clothings
3) Change of phones?
4) More time! (consider presents?)
5) A change of a new heart? (consider a present?)

The person who tag you is-
Adeline.

5 impressions of her-
1) Out-going
2) Chat alot =x
3) Caring (cos is a nurse? =p)
4) Pitiful? (always kenna bully by the guys)
5) Helpful

The most memorable things she has done for you-
Hmm.. don't really have? =x

The most memorable words she has said to you-
Can't remember. perhaps no ba..

If she becomes your lover, you will-
haha.. impossible. (cos I'm not a les.)

If she becomes your lover, they have to improve on will be-
Nothing to improve. cos as above mention, she won't be my lover. remember?

If she becomes your enemy, you will-
Nope. won't be. (although we seldom talk) =x

If she becomes your enemy, the reason is-
hmm... I probably snatch her lover. =p (which is NOT going to be true!)

Pass this quiz to 10 people that you wish to know how they feel about you-
1) Serene (u have been targeted for so many ppl but yet not done. *wink*)
2) Weisze
3) stephanie
4) Huifen
5) Eunice? (will u be able to do it?)
6) Joann
7) Jesslyn (please do it cos I know u wont. pls pls. =p)
8) Yu min
9) Adelina
10) Joan

1.Who is no.7 having relationship with?
hmm.. I don't know leh. like.. don't have? maybe her baobei? =x

2.Who is no.9 having relationship with?
erm? the one that caught by jess de?

3.If no.9 and no.10 are together, will it be a good thing?
No.

4.What about no.1 and no.5?
No! cos they are both MINE!

5.What is no.3 studying?
She's working right now.

6.When was the last time you chatted with no.6?
Err.. 2 weeks ago? smsed.

7.Does no.4 work?
Yup!

8.Does no.8 have any cousin in his/her own school?
Nope.

9.Will you woo no.8?
haha.. we are good buddy ever. (:

10.How about no.5?
haha.. she's now my baby!

11.Does no. 2 have any siblings?
yes. A brother?? =x (pardon me if I'm wrong)

12.How did u get to know no.3 and no.4?
Dear's friend =)

13.Where does no. 1 live at?
SENGKANG!!! =DD

14.How did you get to know no.2?
Dear's friend =)

15.Is no.5 the sexiest person in the world?
Yes! haha.... =pPp

Woots!
finally I'm doen with it.

So long...




Monday, October 15, 2007


March to the beat of Your dream.

Striving and struggling precede SUCCESS.

My maths teacher look at me when I'm leaving the class just now.

And he said to me: how esther? can do or not?

I smiled back at him.

'I have confident in you. You can do it. You need to have confident in yourself. I know u can do well'.

After he said this to me, I feel so bad and guilty.

So many people look up to me, believe that I can do well. And what did I do to myself?
didn't even put in enough effort, to show people that I can.

Disappointment.






HAPPY BIRTHDAY WEI EN!!!

Haha.. See.. I'm thoughtful right. (:

I got the xim de ok.. (:

Enjoy ur BIG day.

(:






Just to summarise..

Saturday, as usual, went to bingzheng house for maths. And I still didn't do well for it!

pfft!

After 3 hour plus for maths, dear came and fetch me back and we had pot luck at his place, together with stephanie, weisze, huifen and jian xin. (surprise to see him there though.) And by the time I reach, they've finished cooking.. And seems like cooking dinner. Lots of food...

After lunch, we played 'Money Talk'.. And headed Loyang point for ktv.

Still prefer kbox though. (:

---

Sunday, had tuition and I was late. =x Went church with dear and had breakfast before that at He Ji Bao. (:

Yi Hui is sooo cute. =)

Thanks Jun ling for ur present foe serene and I. (: without fail, u will get us something when u go overseas. Thanks alot!!! (:

I was so tired during service...

Just wanna give thanks to people who kept encouraging me:
`meishan
`rev Goh
`serene
`meimei
`geraldine
`eunice
`peter
`weisze
`stephanie
`huifen
`and lot more.. (:

THANK U GUYS!!

simply just love u people!!! (:

*

I just couldn't control.. so it just teared down...

Thanks meishan for the drink. (:

While waiting for the committee to finish meeting, I went to the office to do my paper. BUT, I didn't finish COS of the little KIDS, that stomping and screaming outside and kept coming in to the office, and I can't study. pfft! Thot there can study peacefully. hais.. no longer...

Uncle andrew very humor.. he saw me studying there, talk to me a while and ask me to jia you. He said: Yao jia you zhi dao ma. Jia fei ji you, bi jiao kuai. Jia che you bi jiao man. Jia fei ji you ok?

He's just so cute. (:

But he's fierce to his kids though. Saw him scolding his son. woo.....

After the meeting, Cejie and Jia xian went dear's house to play board game. "money talk" again. (: This time round, no one got negative values. (: all earn money. Winner is Cejie! haa.. but too bad. Mei shan Bingzheng didn't come. ):

Dear's dad went to buy dinner for us. (: thank u..

---

Thursday.

Science practical.

=x

Jia you ba!




Friday, October 12, 2007


My eye swell up le. ):

Didn't see doctor yesterday and today. ): It's raining heavily now..

LOUD THUNDER!!!

=x

How am I going to school with my eye like that? ):
Got scolded by peter. ):

He ask me not to go sch and ask me to rest at home. ):

---

Thanks weisze for ur long post for me. (:

hugs.

---

Gonna revise my practical le..

sian.

just 6 more days...

):




Wednesday, October 10, 2007


The Bottom Line
Get ready to build a cozier relationship with someone who holds authority over you.

In Detail
Get ready to build a much cozier relationship with someone who holds a great deal of authority in your life right now. You will be spending a lot more time in their company, and you will be expected to act more as a coequal than as a subservient person. Try not to get intimidated by their somewhat chilly demeanor. Focus on getting your ideas across, not on charming them. That will come much more naturally later. Work for their respect, not for a laugh or a smile.


Dear's dad was asking me just now.

'Do u want to work full time after your exams?'

I shake my head. I wanna find some other jobs, hopefully could be my interest. But I don't think I'll be able to get the job i want. He said if I doesn't want to carry on working here, he will go and find some other people to work full time.

I wanna teach little kids.. but.. I don't think I can make it to that level. My studies sux. How am I suppose to teach them?

Dear said he Might come and work for this company after his 10years of army. If he really wanna work here, I don't mind coming back. At least there's someone to company me when working. I don't want to work alone.

I'm puzzled'

What can I do? What job do I want to look for?

):







Paper             Subject               Date                Time

05            (phy&chem prac)         18/10/2007            1400

03              Chemistry             24/10/2007            1430

02              Geography             25/10/2007            1430

01              Mathematics           29/10/2007            1400

02              Mathematics           30/10/2007            0800

02              Physic                02/11/2007            0800

01              phy&chem              06/11/2007            0800

01              Geography             07/11/2007            0800


This is my shitty timetable.

Please pray for me if I happen to come across ur mind.

Thanks..




Tuesday, October 09, 2007


I HAD ENOUGH!

PLEASE STOP IT!!!

I know my exams are coming in 2 weeks time. I know I still not fully prepared. I know I'm ridicules by still not knowing the formula. I know I sux at it. I know I'm stupid. I know I doesn't know how to study. Why there's studies in this world? WHY there's EXAMS in this world? All the certificate we gonna get is just PAPER and nothing else! Why must we work to hard to get that PAPER?

Why do I work so hard? And in the end, all I get is still only nagging, look down, disappointment to people, scolding, blaming and all the bad stuffs. I'm not trying to be optimistic. But it's just true. No matter how hard I've tried, I still won't get the praises.

I know I'm good-for-nothing. I'm just stupid. I can't study. I'm slow! There's no time for me already! Exams are 2 weeks time!

I deserve all the scolding!

I'm useless!

I really need help. But there's no one that can help.

No one.

I'm just. alone. in this small world that no one notice my presence.

There's no more laughter in my life.

My life is cold and colourless.

Where's esther?

She's dead.

Life is no longer that interesting.






What's wrong with my blog?? How come there's something on my navigation there?? ):

If I carry on like this, my studies really cannot make it!

My maths? sci?

God please help me.. there's no one can help me but You!

please...

I've came out with my own notes. (:

Hopefully it is useful??

Time is getting nearer and nearer..

Exams are coming soon?!

Freak!

What am I suppose to do?

Ahh!

I NEED A SMART BRAIN!

pfft!




Friday, October 05, 2007


THIS POST IS NOW FOR ME TO VENT MY ANGER AND IF U DON'T LIKE THE LANGUAGE THAT I USE, SO PLEASE CLOSE THIS BROWSER!

Fuck!

Hate studying at home!

Doesn't have a QUIET place for me to study!

fuck off la u!

PISSED!

Where and u find someone that is so UNREASONABLE, so SELFISH and so bloody FCUK UP that switched on the tv in the room whereby I'm studying?! And she had just turn off the tv outside, came in and and want to see what's the program coming up next in channel u. WTF! can't u just watch finish ur bloody show then come in and sleep? And when I ask u to FREAKING go out and watch, u said u just want to see what show. and when the show start? U FREAKING HELL WATCH THE SHOW!

Fuck!

And I'm telling u that can't u see that I'm studyin?

And u freaking hell say if I want to study I can study.

Hey! if u were the one studying, and I watch tv in the room, u happy? can u study?!

And u dare to ask me to go out and study!

Fuck off man!

That's not ur room ok!

MIND U!

How old already and still ELDEST in the house!

u don't fit at all!

Still say I can't make it for my exams. and right now I'm trying to study and U COME AND INTERRUPT ME, HOW ON EARTH CAN I STUDY?!?! If u don't have any brain, but at least use ur BUTT to think and BE CONSIDERATE LA!

FUCK!




Thursday, October 04, 2007


Why isn't there spacing in between whereby I've spaced it?

>=(

MOOD SWINGING!

BAH!






How Great Is Our God
[verse 1]
The splender of the king
Clothed int majesty
Let all the earth rejoice
Let all the earth rejoice
He wraps himself in light
And darkness tries to hide
It trembles at His noice
It trembles at His voice
[chorus]
How great is our God
Sing with me
How great is our God
And all will see how great
How great
Is our God
[verse 2]
Age to age He stands
And time is in his Hands
Beginning and the end
Beginning and the end
The God Head three in one
Father, Spirit, Son
The lion and the lamb
The lion and the lamb
[chorus]
How great is our God
Sing with me
How great is our God
All will see how great
How great
Is our God
[bridge]
Name above all name
Worthy of all praise
My heart will sing
How great is our God
---
Heard this song in yong chiang's blog.
It refresh my memory for this song.
His just.. so GREAT.
---
bored.
go home studying? again?
):
boring life.
colourless.
bland.
pui!
*spit it out!*






The Bottom Line
Do not take it personally if you trigger someone's anger today. It's not about you.

In Detail
Someone close to you is going through some major mood swings right now, so beware that a giggle may turn to tears with little if any provocation. Do not take it personally if you seem to trigger their surprising reaction. There are a lot of things going on that you may not be aware of, and these extreme changes of behavior are the start of a trend that may rub off on you. Ride your emotions like a death-defying roller coaster: with your hands held straight up!

Scorpio's horoscope is having mood swing just like a pendulum.

I'm starting to freeze.

I'm so cold even with a thick jacket. The aircon is terrible. Can't een adjust the temperature ourselves.

pfft!

I don't wanna mention about that.

It pissed me off.

>=(

And she came today.

Bubble burster.

please don't irritate me at this period. If I fire at u, don't blame me.

mood swing..

Chill~

I laughed at myself when I saw this customer's name 'bee hoon'. (don't wanna mention the surname.)

=/

I'm bad I know.

My dad's photo when young looks like serene's dad.

hah!

Long lost brother? =p

hilarious.

And found my brother and myself de baby umbilical cord. (don't know how to spell).

Yucks!

like.. dead.. worm.. or.. lizard.

*puke*

I hate October!

sux!

So stressful!

pfft!

plate tectonic?

argh.

Slept at 3am plus this morning. study the darn plate tectonic.

half way through.

):

I need to practise my Science and Maths!

Ahhhhhh.......

*And I'll start pulling my hair*

hate it!

Just hate it so much!