Tuesday, October 31, 2006


Yesterday was a good and pleasent day for me. went out with a peaceful heart in the morning and go and meet my aunt before going church. oh my... she learning guitar! =x and she learnt christian songs. I'm so glad that she have received christ. thank God. (: oops.. went church quite late but thank God again that I'm not late for the service cos I'm the support singer. ask my aunt to sit with mei shan.. aww.. what happen to the praise and worship yesterday?? =/ all of us stop at the song. look at each other.. and we played again. oh and singing halfway, yao jie fainted..! =x what happen?? got shock.. but God controls everything and things got back to normal again.. arghh.. what happen to me yesterday? out of the 5 of 6 songs, I only have confident to sing 1 song! the rest of the song I just sing but not out loud. =/ and -.-'' my microphone de wire came off.. haha.. peter laugh at me.. ): the sermon was dry.. and can see that my aunt nearly fell asleep... hope she won't feel weird attending chinese service. hope she feel comfortable in our church.. then went PS with her after service and meet my 2nd aunt to get gift. we had pastamania! (: then we went Cityhall.. after that went to meet him. (: plan to meet in the train but -.-'' I was inside the cabin and we didn't see each other. then when the train move then we saw each other. -.-'' alight at the next station to wait for him. he msg me ask me to wait for him at **** place. the train left le la.. arghh.. call and tell him that I alight le.. then ok lor wait for the train that he gonna board. so ma fan.. =x at night went to my aunt place to meet my mum. forget to take out my necklace (the cross) and my auntie saw it. then ask my mum I accept christ already is it? don't know what my mum told her and say 'ya lor now everything jesus jesus la. the things I eat also comes from jesus and thank Him for providing us food blah blah blah..' -.-'' so irritating can.. but good also.. next time I don't have to hide le. (

***
woo.. I finally got to sleep early this morning. slept at 1 plus.. (: and had a nice sleep till this afternoon.. =p mum didn't work today.. so sian she's at home but I didn't meet either mei shan or samuel to study cos they not free. hais when I go out study, she not at home. hais.. make life difficult for me only.. today chinese O'lvl. don't know they got do well not.. yeah tomorrow meeting mei shan.. finally she's free and can meet her le.. (: it's been a long time I've met her for study.. ): hope my mum not working tomorrow lor.. hopefully this whole week la. let me have time to study and don't have to bother me with my cousin. oh no.. O'lvl is getting nearer and nearer.... =x hope the faster it comes, the faster it goes! why people can and ask me to intro them job??




Sunday, October 29, 2006


oh. and I done a stupid thing at this fashion. after shopping at bedok de this fashion, then we proceed to tampines de. then all the while I was holding the 2 plastic bags. then when we were about to left the place, I realise I lost my this fashion's bag! I was like 'omg! where's my plastic bag?' then all of them search the whole place and I ask the people whether is there any lost and found bag on the floor. hah then in the end, Peter found it the the entrace of the floor. =p thanks peter! scare me la. haha... then jane help me take my stuffs cos she scared I misplace it again. hehe.. damn funny.. searching high and low for the plastic bag. and haha my cousin spill the spoonful of colstraw on jane's bag when she wanted to put it into her mouth! haha.. damn funny. and I promise there will be second round of shooping after my O's! =D






I'm happy!!!!!
I got to shop today! I spent quite alot today. =p thanks jane, jessie, jon, techun and peter for accompany me to shop! luv u guys! shop for heels sandal, and half jacket. heex thanks jessie for choosing for me! haha te chun, ur idea.. haha ok la.. we went bedok to shop for sandal and I half jacket. then we went tampines to find my top. but in the end I kind of broke.. -.-'' then decided to buy again when I have the money again. we had dinner at KFC. haha had lots of laughter.. jon la! aiyo.. keep making us laugh.. keep disturbing the 2 of them. haha new word. " mistress " -.-'' haha.. damn funny.. btw, today's worship practise was alright. first time working with uncle geoffrey. hmmm his leading style is different. good..! but it was a long practise.. haha.. ya te chun remember to set a date and time asap k. =D thanks for ur offer of help. yeah! tomorrow my aunt will be joining me for service! cool leh.. hope she will like our church.. =D pray hard!! sian la! keep having insomia! I WANT TO SLEEP!!!! now I always slept at 5plus and wake up early la.. so sian.. I WANT SLEEPING PILLS!!! hais.. so xin ku.. every night can't sleep de.. see my sis sleep until so soundly, snoring away.. me leh? tossing and turning the bloody whole night! urgh... nevermind. can't sleep I still got jane to pei me chat till late late! wahaha.. I can't wait for tomorrow! =D




Friday, October 27, 2006


Finally have the chance to update my blog le. kind of busy this few days and wasn't at home most of the time. feeling stress this few days. hais.. revise till so sian.. but no choice. btw, had a nice and LONG chat with jane that night. chat till about... 4am. =p it's a holiday so it's ok. chat about 4hours plus ba.. haha.. and finally 1 yrs old le. =D oh no.. eunice and jesslyn's birthday falls on the same day.. oh jess, really sorry for not be able to pei u on your birthday.. hope u understand ya. I'll get u a big present as I promise de. this past 5 yrs didn't get u anything and u still bought me a Jay's cd. many thanks to u gal... *muacks* I hope I can find a nice and big present for u. =D don't despise my present can liao.. hehe.. after this week we don't have to go school le.. "holiday" le.. study break la.. hais.. sian diao.. and after which, it's our O's le. AAHHHH... damn fast can.. urgh.. I can't wait for the 20th of nov man... just can't wait.. this period is a torturing period for me. keep having insomia... the earliest I can sleep is 4plus.. this morning I went to bed at 335am. but I slept at 5 plus.. but I feel that I didn't sleep when I suddenly woke up at 7am. hais.. think I only slept for 3 to 4 hours ba. arghh... should I get myself a sleeping pills? will it be better after eating? should try.. done alot of physic revision.. did I improve? he like still disappointed in my results leh.. hais... die le la.... I soon become an owl le... ): my eye bag is getting darker.. ):


u make me miss u more and more, day by day.




Tuesday, October 24, 2006


Woke up early yesterday! finally I can go church with peace without my cousin around. nice songs for praise and worship. going east coast initially. but ion the end all watch movie (death notes). abit sian diao la.. but nevermind la. arghh.. stupid carpark! all full and got to go to the highest level! omg.. head spinning le.. I hate those carpark whereby they are going round and roung and round... then we check the timing for the movie. 310 and 350 the earliest. but we don't have enough cash to pay for all. then we have lunch first then buy tickets. after my lunch, I collect money from them and I go buy first, if not no seats le. then sameul came up also. omg he so dumb.. there's a lift opposite KFC, he ran to the other side of the mall to take the lift. -.-'' full house for 310 show cos we got 8 people. so we bought 350 de. -.-'' 2nd row... gosh I'm dead.. we play arcade. sian diao.. hmm.. I'm a lousy driver man.. but the guys lost to ade's aunt can! tio own by her.. haha.. lousy... =p the movie was nice but I having headache in the middle of the show and I feel that someone is shaking the chair.. and it makes me feel like puking even more la! arghh.. throughout the whole movie I was suffering.. went home after that cos I couldn't take it anymore. I need to rest. haha ya I'm weak i know. grr.. 7th story down again! wth? finally home. gosh the haze is bloody bad can. reach home I straight away fall on the couch. =p cos I'm seeing stars soon.. had a short nap then dinner. can't do any work yesterday so I just watch tv. so got to chiong more today.. :(




Friday, October 20, 2006


God Put You In My Way

Lord, I need Your help even to see the needs of people
around me and then to know how to care for them.
Give me a heart of compassion like Yours and
opportunities to express Your love.

compassion never goes out of fashion.

***

A Gratitude Visit

consider what the Lord has done
Through those who've shown you love;
Then thank them for their faithful deeds,
For blessings from above.

Gratitude should not be an occasional incident but a continuous attitude.






Hais. did so badly for my physic practical la! damn screwed up can! esther u are SUPER careless! why u so dumb? simple calculation and simple practical u can't even do it perfectly!
u are dumb! seriously u are stupid and careless! if u have read the the things carefully, u won't have make this silly mistakes and waste 7 marks for practical which is like HALF the marks gone? gosh.. what else can I do now? rely on my papers? oh no.. just have to pray hard for my chem prac and paper 2 for both. hais.. esther can't utter a single words now. she's ........! hais.. I'm disappointed in myself seriously! lost of words.. what esle can I still say? encouragement words? oh come on.. if u know how to be self-controlled, and can do ur own revision, u don't need people's encouragements. u know how to do it and u will know what to do RIGHT NOW at this junction! but u don't esther, u really don't. hais.. people are worried for me, but did I worried about myself? I really don't know. hais.. I just know how to say, but did I really do it? did I do what I say? yes sometimes I did but most of the times? what am I doing? dazing around, in my own lala land? esther wake up! u don't have time anymore! u left with 17 more days remember? I'll always remember what u have told me. really hope I won't disappoint all of u. I really hope.

oh gosh. what happen to my mum nowadays? is she suspecting me or something? why is she keep asking where am I blah blah blah.. what is she suspecting at? why is she controlling me? I'm not 3 year old kid can? can I have my own time? MUST I really need to REPORT to u every single thing that I've done outside? yes I know u are my mum and have to right to ask. But can I have my own freedom? can I have my own bloody time? it pissed me off sometimes. yes I know what u mean. I know by letting her know where am I or what so ever will benefit for me in the future. but I don't like to be controlled! I just feel like I'm just a little kid. yes is good but NO to be controlled and questioned by someone! what is all this? care for me? worried for me? I'm 17! I know what is right and wrong! please give me a break! please stop nagging! I want my own private life! could u just leave me alone for a moment? I can be what u want me to become. just STOP interferring my life! I need peace. I really do.... I need a peace of my mind....




Thursday, October 19, 2006


Happy birthday Serene!! <3






Went school at 12nn today. =p cos having headache this morning so didn't intend to go school but jesslyn message me ask me to meet her. and tell her I'm not going school. then she reminded me that there's photo taking today. wa.. sian diao.. then couldn't wake up so I tell her I'll go after the morning assembly. but in the end I just went school for the last lesson. =p mrs viddya also didn't even noticed that I wasn't in school this morning I guess. haha.. just sneak into the class. haha.. got back RB. it sucks. haha.. then we went compass to celebrate lin en's birthday. but things doesn't really happen that well. someone quarrel, birthday girl cried.. -.-'' hais also don't know what to do. And I was late to meet jessie la! hais I'm sorry jessie.. then I quickly rush home, and rush out of the house again. then we started doing maths till 8plus.. time pass very fast today. do few questions only and it's so late. hmmm maybe I do slow ba that's why.. =p anyway she taught me new stuffs which I didn't learn before. it's useful though. thanks jessie! :) then watch tv.. shark attack 3. then watch the channel 8 show till 10pm then went home with jon. aww science practical tomorrow! gosg I don't know anything about chemistry.. jia lat.. wish me luck man.. hope physic practical will be easy.. Mr cheong!! u got to help me!! I need u tomorrow!! =p tomorrow is serene's birthday!!!!!!! =DD Happy Birthday to u in advance! -muacks-




Wednesday, October 18, 2006


Sleepless night yesterday. couldn't get into sleep the whole night la. tossing and turning here and there.. and can's sleep!! hais insomia again i guess. poor esther.. lucky my dad send me to school today. if not I gonna miss the bus. though I didn't slept the whole night yesterday, but I'm so damn awake in school la! I wanted to sleep during maths class cos mr tan wasn't around. but I just can't sleep! so sickening.. went to compass with them after school but just awhile. thanks dickson for sending me home.. though I was just kidding but u still did. thanks.. :) went out to study again. I'm so tired but I just couldn't rest.. why?? hais.. do my physic again.. the same paper.. arghh.. spare me please..? will I be able to sleep tonight?




Tuesday, October 17, 2006


Gosh..
3 more days to serene's birthday, 3 more days to my O' lvl practical!
so fast! and till Irdwan ask what shift I'm in and I realise I forgotten! =x
but I'm in 2nd shift.. phew...
cos mine is at the back de..
gosh... so fast..
Mr cheong keep saying the practical that we took for prelim is very important. cannnot lose that paper. will that practical come out again? I'm quite afraid it might cos I anyhow do that's why score well. but I got no confident that I can do well.. =/
oh by the way, today is amin's birthday!
happy birthday!! x)






Today i feel like I'm a pig. =p slept till 3plus.. haha.. can't help too tired le. use up all the energy yesterday. yesterday night finished two physic paper 2. quite slack today. =x heard someone shouting and screaming outside my house, the staircase there. don't know quarrelling or what. damn noisy la. keep screaming here and there. please la! if u wanna let people know your problems, might as well use a mic to tell the whole block of people? it's your own problem settle inside your OWN house la! irritating u know! pfft.. then my dad went out to see what happen and I followed. we were standing outside looking at her, and she still screaming can! so irritating.. don't know what is shame la! then when I go buy dinner, saw her downstairs 'barking'! then I told my mum "neh, that siao one lor!" then I keep staring and looking at her. think is someone owe her money or got affair outside or something la. hais.. see the clip that jesslyn send me. funny la.. haha I keep laughing when the ah ma say the sentence. haha.. so cute can the ah gong ah ma. hmmm.. didn't go school also sian, go school also sian.. hais.. at least this week I won't be staying in school for long cos only monday got to stay till 430pm. but thinking of the 2hours lesson also sian 1/2.. hais I don't know.. I'm hoping for the december camp la.. though I haven't ask my mum about the camp thing, but I tell peter that I'll be going cos it's after Os le ma. she don't have ANY reasons to stop me from going lor. if she use my cousin, I DON'T CARE! cos it's NOT my PROBLEM! I'm going for this camp and that's it. bad day! grrr..




Monday, October 16, 2006


First and fore most, thanks eunice for making a blogskin for me. It's dog..! haha I like it dear. thanks very much! luv u girl.

Today's worship was alright. really sang out from my heart. and could even see some of the adults tearing. haha first thing in the morning I siam her le. don't dare to face her. =x I like the way jun ling lead worship. it's nice to work with him. :) after service, jane, eunice and I went tampines to have lunch and continue our conversation from yesterday. we had prata and mee siam! haha oh no more that place de mee siam for me le. it taste sux.. =/ and we saw kevin aka kira.. haha and can u stop shooting me huh! arghh.. went on shopping.. and I bought a lollipopfor eunice. she know I buy, but she thought it's for myself. can see that she really want the lollipop huh.. right eunice? haha then I just take and put inside my bag. until we stop and look at the necklace, then I secretly drop it in her bag. :) the lollipop is heavy but she didn't feel it. haha.. till she went home then realise ba? haha.. silly girl.. then me, jane and my cousin continue shopping around. then we saw jie xin and her mum. oh and saw xue shuang. hehe.. I caught u! haha... and saw my primary school friend! I can'nt remember her name, but she also jane's friend sister so she know her name. haha what a small world we have. sit at the macdonlad for very long and time seems to pass very slow today.. we were so tired la.. haha took alot of pictures!! so nice.. and I so zi lian.. =p gosh I'm tire off today!!

oh yesterday was fun though. spending time at the airport with jane and eunice again. :) actually was planinng to go ECP but jane suddenly decided to go airport. so off we go~! and we had a very nice chat and time spending there together.. right? aww eunice I miss the baby.. the penguine.. so cute can... omg.. just feel like carrying the baby. and 9pm we had BK for dinner. so full. had lots of fun... we shall go again ya? to budget terminal.. haha... reach home quite late.. but thank God I can come out today.. :)

yeah! no school tomorrow.. :) whee~




Wednesday, October 11, 2006


Actually today wanna pon school de.
but then thought of what jane has said to me, then decided not to pon.

Today is really a boring and kind of slacking day..?
physics we didn't do our work.
sit there and talk..
hmm.. but I'm guai today.
I do my Ss work today which I don't even care about this subject.
Surprise leh.. (something wrong during ss..?)
maybe cos too tired after recess then didn't talk much in class so do work. :)
slept for an hour for geog cos mrs viddya didn't teach cos she was talking about her problems.
then she gave us worksheet to do.
but we didn't do. =p
was talking all the way..

Finally 2pm..
such a long day today.. hais..
went home straight then do a little bit of maths and physics.
slept for awhile then my father came to the room,
followed by my sis, ask whether did I go and fetch my cousin later.
then my bro come in say he fetch me go.
I'M TIRED!
can all of u let me rest???
end up didn't get my rest la..
pfftt! grr....
nevermind tonight can sleep earlier...?






Problems again..
sigh..

geog lesson was kind of bored..
mrs viddya didn't do anything with us.
she busy doing her stuffs and ask me and min to help her choose 5 better files and books from the lower sec de. hmm.. but it doesn't seems that they are good. =x
maths lesson?? haha didn't do work.. =x chat with yumin, wei en and dickson..
haha we suddenly became bio-student.. haha.. can't stand it. so bian tai de.. haha..
mr tan don't even care about us.
haha seems like not many people doing maths today. =p

oh thanks wei en and dickson that u two agree to pei me go PP buy bubble tea..
but grrr... u all settle ur problems for so long, hai me and yumin got to wait for the 2 of u at the bus stop, smelling the haze!

went to punggol plaza and we bought oreo de bubble tea. so nice can! nicer than the rest!! *yummy* while waiting the 2 big shot, we walk around ntuc. walk every column and we finish walking the whole big ntuc, then the guys appear.. -.-''
damn long la.. arghh.. guys guys guys...
wait for u all to come we wanna go home le lor. but nevermind, can pei me take bus.
haha johnson!! u are smart!!! haha....
sway sway when we board the bus, saw someone which I HATE to see and when they alight, after that another one. -.-''
nevermind I don't give a damn anyway.. :)

super tired today.
went home, bathe liao then poom! bed!! haha..
slept for 1 hr then wake up revise abit.. =p
guai hor.. haha...
cool this few days will be ending school early!
*wink wink*




Tuesday, October 10, 2006


oh ya.

thanks jesslyn, wei en and dickson help me rub my 2 blue-black on my hand.

terrible la.

u all take this chance to revenge is it huh..?

pain lor.

wei en bian tai de la. keep using ur knuckle to rub and so hard can!

but it became better. not that obvious liao.
the swell bian xiao xiao le. :)
and not that pain now le.
thanks ya.

dickson and jess oso.
wa dickson, u rub till my whole skin all red la.
but now still very pain.. :'(
touch softly on the surface only pain liao.. :(

and wei en!
thanks to u and I get 1 more blue-black on my leg la!
arghhh...






Monday suppose to be a broing day cos the lesson ends late. but today was fun!
the gang of guys plus me, jesslyn and doris, we were having lots of fun!
Johnson..! u want to play hor.. and u have to face the CONSEQUENCES!
Shiok ma? ur arms, stomach... =p blue-black everywhere.. wahaha...
I think whenever u see me u got scared liao..
li2 wo3 shi2 ba1 qian1 li3 lu4. haha...
so phobia liao I think after today..
and don't dare to take school lift liao.. haha...
see u dare to make and disturb me again ma lor.. haha....

today very forgetful..
forget to bring pencil case and jacket to school..
freezing the whole day..
all lesson aircondition de.
not bad still can tahan..
woo mei shan found the sarsi sweet that I long wanted to get.
she gave me cos she knows I like that sweet.
heex thanks mei shan.. :)
oh and I like ur that bu shi jacket de jacket can..
so simple and play yet so nice..

then the whole group of us went cp.
I went home first..
sorry guys.. I'm tired after johnson's case.. =p
haha sorry ah.. ps u all..
next time then we go siao siao again.. k?

sorry wei en can't celebrate ur birthday with u all this sat.
I got something on.
erm but I try (keeping my fingers cross first) k..
I'll try to meet u all in the evening???
I'll try I'll try.. :)




Monday, October 09, 2006


It's been a long long time since I went out with the senior youths le..
especially with mei shan.. really enjoy though we didn't do anything much. went to suntec.. but is kenna cheated by wei kang cos he wanna the superstar.. -.-'' waste time go there can. went there only go eat lunch u don't know disappear to where liao. And thanks to samuel and bingzheng for 'ruining' my lunch.. eat my lunch still want to stress me. keep asking me geog and physics question.. Grrr...
went to drink starbucks.. yearning for it for long.. thanks ce jie for being so thoughtful. haha.. samuel and Bingzheng keep asking me to go home study but ce jie ask me to drink and relax first then go home study. haha.. spent a long time sitting at starbucks. lucky the people didn't chase us out.. :) met mei shan after that cos she left halfway just now. and left me, jane and my cousin go pei mei shan eat her dinner at marina. have fun shopping though. long journey back home. -tired-

oh.. sian tomorrow monday. long day spend in school.. *yawns* oh btw.. serene sorry just now kind of pang seh u.. sorry..... :( oh and eunice.. my new blogskin? u say u wanna help me create one de.. haha.. must be specially made by eunice goh yi hui! haha.. study hard for ur chinese ok. don't forget u say u will get full marks for me! wahaha.. I'll take ur words for that.. *wink*

aww.. got 2 blue-black on my hand and 1 long scratch.. damn pain can. jane help me press till the 'colour' come out.. -.-'' now damn obvious liao.. so nan kan.. haha.. muscle ache.. cos went to work to give out flyers yesterday.. heavy.. :( and so boring there.. alot of ang mo.. no shuai ge mei nu de. all auntie? uncle? haha.. young de also not shuai and pretty.. chey! haha..




Friday, October 06, 2006


Tired..
I really hate block timetable...
1 subject study for 2hrs..
english was a killer..
so boring and it took so long to end a subject.
today chem not bad ah.
we very focus and do work.
yumin finally awake and do CHEM which she always sleep in class de.. haha.. =p
good.. all the lessons are held in the aircon room.
oh thanks jess for calling and ask whether to tong bang ur papa car not.. :)
luv ya!!!
and I know u luv me too!
wahaha.....
gonna study le..
I'm tired...
HOW!!!!
stupid block timetable...
make me feel so tired for 1 lesson.. arghhhh.....




Thursday, October 05, 2006


It's been 3 days that I didn't talk to my mum.
Yesterday only talk to her 1 sentence and through sms cos she working ma.
don't know la. but at least I talk to her first..

Sian I hate block timetable la!
our usual timetable ends at 330pm and we already complain..
now on monday it ends even later la..
ends at 430pm!
sheesh~..
but at least tuesday till thursay ends at 2pm.
but my dearly friday lesson ends at 1230 and now become 130..
sian diao.. I hate this timetable la..

aww.. I'm out from YF temporary.. :(
as in to serve..
cos samuel say let me study.. :(
hoping for so long to serve in YF...
it's been a very long time I serving for YF le..
anyway.. nevermind la..

tuition tomorrow and friday..

went to collect the voucher for the lantern competition de.
$20 shopping voucher for 4 people la..
haha at least better than nothing..
then tell kevin and eunice cos same group.
then meet kevin cos he say he very sian.. haha...

hmmm..
desmond give me a lecture just now.. :(
"scold" me for not doing for my prelims well and say never plan my future.. :(
haha I will plan de la..
sports and management ah.. hehe..
and I didn't waste time hor.. haha..




Tuesday, October 03, 2006


I'm just a simple person who wants to have my own freedom.

Is it very difficult?

why is she so bias?

why can't I go out with my friends?

why do I need to report everything to u when I'm going out and why didn't ur elder daughter and ur son report to u when they went out?

why am I so different from them?

why is it me that I need to look after my cousin and why is it me that always be the one that gets 'lock' up in the house just because to look after my cousin?
this is so unfair!! why can't they look after her? why is it me? hello.. I'm not her mum can? I'm not born to look after her lor. and I need my own freedom also la.

why can't I have my own breathing space?

I just couldn't understand why I'm different from my siblings...

is it bias? selfish? or what??

just couldn't figure it out...