Friday, July 27, 2007


Went rivervale mall with mummy today. it's been raining the whole day. ): Took feedar bus there.. went long john for lunch.. first time eating long john with her sia.. then we went ntuc.. hmm.. first time I didn't spent alot leh.. =p went to this pet shop, then I took one picture of the dog, then the girl say cannot take. but, WHO CARES! take liao so what? u wanna take my phone and delete? lame..

Went back home, take afternoon nap.. cos too tired le.. then wake up, bathe, had dinner and off to sch.. ):

Had test today.. fail again le la..

>=(

Emo-ing........ when going home.....

u people just DON"T understand how I feel. just know that I just been thinking alot. do u know exactly what really happen? u don't! u guys only know the surface of the problems. but do u really know the deepest problem that I'm facing? NO! u guys just don't understand cos u are not in my shoe! so u guys only will think that I think too much. but do u think I wan it? do u know how irritating it is? do u know how much I'm struggling? u don't. no one knows. u people claim u know, but do u really know? no one can really understand how I feel.. no.. no one.. at all... I might be able to tell u, but u just don't feel how I felt. it really hurt.




Wednesday, July 25, 2007


Facing The Giants

We watch this movie during cell today. In the beginning, we wasn't really paying attention to it cos we can't hear what they say. But later part, we kept silent and focus on the show le.

It's about this football team in other country(don't know what country), they were a very lousy team, and this coach is facing problems in the family and in this team. So he prayed to God, committed his life and the team to God. So after that, this had changed. The team starts to play well etc. There's a part I like whereby they were having death run or something. This fellow, I think he attitude problem, so the coach ask him to do the run, with another guy at his back. So he said that he could only go for 30metres. But the coach tell him to go 50metres. So he blind folded him, and he start to move on. He tried his best to run and the coach didn't stop to encourage him, and when he wanna give up, the coach kept shouting at him, ask him to do his best etc.. and guess what? He ran the whole field. I was kinda touch when I saw that part. He didn't give up. He kept perserve on till he couldn't take it. I think this is something we should learn from. Especially me.

We'll be carry on next week. So.. kind of eager.. (:

Thanks Cejie for showing us this show. (:

We watch it at kovan, the container. switch off the lights, aircon so cold.. and many people were in there.. cosy feeling. And at the point of time.. I felt that we were a family.. (:

Thanks Rev Goh for sending us back. And thanks for allowing me to bring back the bear bear.. (:

Nice worship leading by Jiaxian. (:

Overall.. I love my cell people. (:






The Bottom Line
If you just persevere down the path you're already on, you'll find Fulfillment.

In Detail
Your daily routine will be quite bearable (even slightly enjoyable) today -- because you are finally finding comfort in life's familiar aspects. You understand that trying something new just for the sake of experiencing something new can be an empty way to go. If you just persevere down the path you're already on, you can slowly but surely get to where you'll find the most fulfillment. You are on the right track toward making the changes you need to make.

---

Hmm.. am I on the right track? I hope it's true.. that if I perserve on, I'll find fulfillment.

Woke up late today. Super tired. couldn't sleep yesterday or rather this morning. slept around 2am plus.. when I close my eyes, I'll just automatically open my eyes. simply just get into sleep.

Haa! I'm brown.

(:

Cell tonight.. Sharing.. but I didn't have stuffs to share. So.. I'll feel bored there.. but can listen to other people's sharing.. not bad though. (:

Dear work late again. ): he end work at 1245am this morning.. today work at 3 again.. )':

Worship prac on saturday 2pm!

Thanks Marcus for taking over my worship. (:

people just can't keep secret.

Yesterday's chem test gone case le.. hais..

Thanks Wani for giving a lift for me yesterday. (:

Yesterday, I'm telling my mum jokes.. and my bro and sis were there.. so when I told them about the marcus' joke, they were laughing like siao.. =D and I told my mum about the Singh that ride on bike without helmet. they laugh at me cos the Singh doesn't need to wear helmet. I don't know ma.. never see before until that day when I was with dear and shawn in the car... ):

lesson learnt. (:




Tuesday, July 24, 2007


23rd July 2007, My tamagotchi died. )': 17th generation.. sob sob... it took me so long to "feed" it, sob.. and it suddenly die.. When in school, I still feed it ma.. and it's fine.. but when I got home, I saw an angel.. die le... I showed it to mummy, and she laugh.. ): I showed it to dear, he laugh too.. ): and he said finally I can stop 'taking care; of it le. hais.. sad sia.. so long le and it died.. nevermind.. maybe good also.. then I don't have to 'take care' of it anymore..

Yesterday after class, went to dear house and help him pack his books.. full of books and DUST! tsk tsk... we pack till around 1am plus.. then send me home... rain whole day..

Hah! and he found my planet shakers cd. it's in his car. that day I did search his car, I open the player, saw nothing inside. but yesterday dear went to serach for it again, and he found it inside the player. Cos I didn't eject the cd out.. =p haa.. and he found my hair clip.. he send the car for washing and found my long lost hair clip. (:

After work we went to Ubi, my uncle's workplace to collect carton boxes.. alot of it.. but only 10 can be use. -.-'' haa.. went katong for dinner then head to Bishan. go walk walk for awhile, and meet dear's friend.

Time pass very slowly yeserday... ):

I hate it!

hais.

I'm timid.

Esther do not have the courage.

):

Be brave Esther. Didn't u pray to God and ask for courage? trust and believe that He will give.

Thank God for blessing me before, today and forever. (:

Yes, we must be thrifty. but this kind of stuffs we can't save up ok.

Baby eunice, I think I'm like u too.. I also keep procrastinating too.. it reflects me when I read it. it makes me ponder about how lazy I am, how stubborn I am, by not listening to people's quan gao. I turn their words into a deaf ear. (ba hua dang er bian feng) hais. I should be the one that is so much so much way too much for my own good. ):

I need more motivation. I can't motivate myself. I can talk sense to people, but I can't talk sense to myself. hais. I'm useless.. as what dear friend said yesterday. she broke off with her boyfriend last week cos he wasn't improving himself. cos he's a nsf, and he doesn't know his future etc. and she said that his leg was injured for 5 months plus, and didn't recover. until she left him, 1 week later he's leg recover. and he told her that he had realise how life was and he wanted to zhen zuo again.

And after I hear what she say, I felt guilty. Dear look at me in that kind of expression and makes me feel... bad.. it's not that I want to destroy my future. I also want to have a good future, a good life, a good job that can earn alot and save up. but.. it just... I'm speechless.

I'm utterly disappointed in you esther.

buck up!




Monday, July 23, 2007


Dear come and fetch me to work today.

wake up early today. I'm so tired. went home very early.. today(: then wake up very early today also. ): wait for dear to come and pick me up, head to office there de OCBC to open another new account for me-Smartchange.

Then we had our breakfast.

Gonna go my uncle's warehouse take carton boxes.. so dear gonna pick me up at ard... 4pm?

sheesh.

school today. ):

Yesterday's church fun-raising carnival was a success! (:

*applause*

brought back 3 balloons.. which was useless but it's so cute! (:

Rev Goh so xin fu.. xyz people bought for her Alot of cute and nice balloon.. (: aww.. so sweet of them. I bought 2 pairs of earring, 1 necklace, 2 handphone accessories. 1 for mummy. it was Gorgeous!! there's angel de. I'm gonna learn how to make it myself.. in september.. haha.. she's willing to teach me.. yay! (:

Sara also very xin fu.... and she's just so.... ADORABLE! and PRETTY!

we had our worship and sermon at the auditorium. the place was so grand. ( I think la) and catherine's worship is.. wow! it makes me wanna worship again and again...

It's indescribeable.

why this time round u didn't ask me along? is it bcos she'll be going? that's why u nv ask me to go too??




Friday, July 20, 2007


Aww..

Having gastric...

thanks mummy for the milo.. (: (though she is watching her show but I paused it.. =p)

feeling better after drinking..

(:

today's class wasn't bad.

Tourism. (:






Went to buy the hammer for the carnival thingy. but the hammer is HUGE. so didn't get that. I got a hand hammer. (: cute.. pig de.. hehe.. then went to shop shop. =p near office anyway.. bought 2 top, 1 dress and a bag. =p cost me $30. 1 item $10.. now offer.. the two top cost 10bucks. The stuffs quite expensive. went to buy with dear's mum before. but now offer.. ALL only $10.. so quite alright.. =p

Read Matthew 5 and 6 yesterday. Dear ask me to read.. actually 6 but he say wrong. but nvm la.. just finish reading chap also lor.. since..........

Can't wake up this few days.. so tired.. didn't want to wake up though.. =x

Going Amk Hub with dear later. around 4 plus when he come pick me up. hais.. but there's school tonight.. ): can't walk for long.. maybe walk for awhile then have dinner. ):

This coming weekends is gonna be a tiring day.. ):

Tomorrow- go Jubilee Church to set-up the stalls for sunday's carnival, after that, evening, there's Unleash Your Talent till probably... 8pm. that's one weekend past.

Sunday- Church Carnival at Jubilee Church. got to reach at 9am. -.-'' Carnival starts at 10am to 2pm. after that at... 4pm, there's service and sermon.. another weekend gone..

---

Today I called up the customer regarding their car. scared.




Thursday, July 19, 2007


Maybe I'm just being.... selfish?

Thanks Jia Xian for ur encouragement-- 2 Thess 3:3

(:

ur real self is so... I would rather to see and know the quiet Jia Xian.. haha.. =p

Saw a shop that I can purchase the toy hammer. but.. I hve to walk a distance from office.. ): far.....

Motorola phone really sucks..

I brought that phone out with me, want to try that phone.. but when typing message really very pek cek lor.. damn irritating..

Chill~

I think I need to bring a small comforter to office... the place is so cold.. and we can't even adjust the temperature..

maybe I should...




Wednesday, July 18, 2007


Just came back from eunice grandma's wake. She seems fine.. just that after we see her grandma, then she cried.. but there's me there for her.. (: rite baby? hehe.. Jonathan still... looks the same.. same hair-style.. -.-'' and still so skinny... face.. hmm.. more pimples huh.. =x

Then xinyi was talking about her wedding stuffs.. then how she save money to prepare for her wedding, and by not having alot of stuffs like taking wedding albums, by not renting car, etc.. I don't think I can learn from her lor.. is like.. not taking wedding albums... wedding don't have album.. like.. aiya.. don't know how to say....

Hais.. here comes again....

anyway.... I'm home early today... (-.-'')

it's rare ok....

I have nothing to say. cos in the end, no matter how I argue, I'll still lose.. and u'll sure win.. I'll just save my breathe..




Tuesday, July 17, 2007


There's really bookworm..

Is not human but the real Worm....

This is the 4th time? or 3rd time I saw worm that crawl out from the book..

YUCKS!

small, tiny, yellow transparent.. and it wiggle wiggle out of the book..

Eewww...

*book grow worm* hmmm...

---

Lalala... I'm just too bored.. boss not in the office yet.. went to dear's mum work place to collect things..

Baby, don't get to upset k.. as I told u, she'll be blessed up there(Heavenly Kingdom), and no longer feel the pain, the sufferings.. and most importantly, to be with our Heavenly Father! (: God Bless u baby.. take care... lovess..






Airport Kopitiam's food is nice.. (:

After class yesterday, dear and I went airport for our dinner. He bought a tub of PEPPERMINT ice-cream for me! (: so sweet.. He said he bought gao xue and need to bring back home first. And I thought he bought shoe.. then he pass me the shoe box. when I open, is ice-cream.. (: he purposely say gao xue.. is xue gao lor.. hurr... anyway, thanks baby.. loveesss....

---

This morning the delivery man came to deliver the new parts for the cupboard. went to ntuc to buy things, then buy garlic spread for dear cos he likes to eat garlic bread.. (:

Erm.. hmm... I think there's chem test today.. =x and I've not yet study. =p gonna study when I finish my work..

Going back school on thursday.... and also see how lousy the girls volleyball team now. Coach giving up on them le.. haha.. Lousy... *whoops* meeting ade too.. then can go play.. hehe..




Monday, July 16, 2007


Let me see.. shall posting about Racial Harmony Race..

Saturday morning, we went kovan cos we're having racial harmony amazing race. The places were-Rivervale walk blk 115, Punggol Park, Hougang Mall, Japanese Cemetery and Tai Keng Garden.

Our first route was rivervale walk, our task was to climb up 13th story, to memorize the passage that given and then take the lift down. everyone pair must go up at least once, then we can answer the question given to us. haha and I borrow yang yang's belt.. thanks ah. (: next station was Tai Keng garden. our hands got tied up, Raymond and Ashik(the new friend) got to blind fold, take the key and got to unlock us. the place so eeekk.. got lots of small little fly.. kept flying around me. and is ALOT of them!! then Raymond come and save me. but he didn't got my lock key.. then 2 mintues up, if no one got untied, we got to be punish. then fiona use the lip stick and draw on my neck, the draw tortoise and serene's hand. Then the next station, we go back punggol park. we play the 'staircase' thingy.. use 3 rods, 6 people support, 1 person walk on the rod. all 7 must walk. and initially we wanted to give up, use fast forward, then we try try, ok le then we play. we also use the fast forward, so that we can have double points. so far we are the fastest. 26 sec. the other groups fastest was 43 sec. (: but still, the group behind us faster, so we didn't get the highest point for that station. After this station, we go Japanese Cemetery. not as eerie as I thought. then Youda and John was there. we got to look for a person who was the first Japanese who died. then we quickly went to the last station which is Hougang Mall. Andrew and his girlfriend station there. and we got to use the balloon to make a poodle and a heart. after that we got to give to 2 kids. then we head back to kovan. damn route la.. make us travel up and down.. and we pass by kovan 5 times la.. arghh.. waste my bus fare!!! Expensive la!! *pout*

Games not ended yet. the damn Ivan(oops), say wanna play games to gain points. -.-'' played the rod game.. then the other one was to use 2 long balloon, in the middle tie one arm length string. And, we were told, to transfer the balloon, through our shirt, and pass it to other people. -.-'' damn idiot la that Ivan.. damn unhygienic la... kept complaining..

Then we had high tea. not bad la the food, then the MP came, prize presentation. Jia Xian's group got first. still got $50 cash la.. wth.. then he and Techun idiot lor.. come and hao lian their prize.. movie ticket and money.. hurr... $10 don't know how to spend.. kns..

Went back with Serene. then bathe and stuff.. wait for dear to come cos we going chalet. He won't be coming so early, so as I wait, I slept.. he called and say he just landed.. -.-'' not going back so early.. around 10 plus.. hurr....

Its been a busy and tiring day..

Ohh.. forget to mention that I saw Yuqi and Fidaus(forget how to spell his name) on the bus. haha.. he so paiseh la.. it's been a long time I saw her. she now studied at Australia-Melbourne.. study University.. so smart.. (:

---

Sunday, nothing much special.

Service, Sermon, then Rev Goh's sharing. I always like her sharing.. very interesting.. and she cried cos she thought of her father. )': Jia you Aunt Mei!! God will always be with u.. (:

After the talk, we met Bingzheng to discuss about the Carnival thingy.. hais.. so busy.. gonna do so many things.. hopefully my group members can do the stuffs that they were ask to do. hope in the end, I won't be the one that do ALL the stuffs..

Went back to the chalet after that. bought dinner there to eat.. goodness.. dear eat alot!! He ask his friend to help him packet 1 chap cai peng, 1 chicken rice. then I was queuing for kfc, his friend ask him whether he wanna eat pizza. and he ask him to buy 1 personal pan pizza! =x Is my dear a pig?? goodness gracious.. eat so much!! but in the end he didn't eat the packet of chicken rice. crazy leh.. we went to play bowling.. not bad for me.. I'm not the last.. (: hehe.. this time round play better than the time we play with mei shan they all.. hehe.. maybe cos I cut my nails.. =p

---

Didn't work today.. cos mummy off.. so I stay at home lor.. she's frying koropok now.. (: but so sian.. there's class tonight..

wondering where we'll be going later.. (:

Happy 8th month dear.
love
!




Friday, July 13, 2007


200th Post! =D

yup.. my 200th post today! and today is Friday 13th! (:

Cell yesterday was kinda.. good.. cos can hear some people sharing like Jia Xian, Ben.. nice sharing.. although yesterday I was really tired, but I quite enjoyed myself yesterday.. Guang Qing was there too.. (: Welcome!! =D

Dear bought me ice-cream from tampines all to way to wei kang's house. (: so sweet of u.. ( haha.. though is I nag and irritate him before going to cell..) but I wanna peppermint ice-cream.. but he bought lime de.. ): anyway.. he's still so sweet.. =D

---

hais..

school tonight..

tired.. =x

---

I'm freezing cold in here..

Damn aircon..

why would they wanna wash the aircon.. =x=x=x

cold~ cold~ cold~

=/




Thursday, July 12, 2007


Had steamboat yesterday for lunch and dinner. (: *yummy*

Wake up early in the morning, then go tampines round market to buy food with dear. then pick up aunty and head to katong. Before that, we went Ntuc to purchase more food.. went back katong, book Harry Potter (this is the 5th episode and this was my first time watching).

then head down for a swim. (:

sob.. someone want me to die.. )':

come up for shower and then Steamboat time! (: had so much food.. and we watch Tom and Jerry Cartoon.. Jerry is so cute.. hee.. then we rest till dinner time, then eat dinner again. but this time round with his family. Idiot Shawn!! ArghH!!! I hate u la...................

went to tampines mall to collect ticket and then get new phone for dear..

nice show.. but didn't watch the 1st to 4th episode, so kinda lost.. watch till my left arm dumb..
-.-''

hope to have more time like this.. cos u really treat me very well yesterday.. (: I'm happy.. thanks for ur everything dear.. Love..

.I treasure.




Monday, July 09, 2007


Hais.. yesterday kenna pangseh by some people.. especially Lim Te Chun!!! >=(

kuku lor u.. wa lao.. say don't want go orchard, go bugis. in the end leh.. reach bugis le I go myself, then u leh.. pangseh lor.. u good.. don't think I don't know the reason... u watch out lor...

then still say come back bugis.. in the end? all go airport.. -.-'' but thank goodness I made the right choise by not going.. if not.. I'll be super duper sian.. *pheww...*

thanks andrew for ur company at bugis. (: nice chatting with u.. it's been long time we went out together le.. maosen still looks the same.. haa.. (: thanks. but he went off with his friends to work le.. ): saw lewis ans ask him to meet me. hais.. another one lor.. say eat very fast. call him, sms him, never reply.. ya la.. ur girlfriend is there right.. arghh..

went back to katong.. wait for dear to finish his meeting.

while waiting for bus at the bus stop, a blind came and ask people for help to keep a look out for the bus he wanna take. when he ask again, I answer him and agree to help him. But my bus came. then I was so puzzled whether should I stay or what. on one hand, I wanted to help. On the other hand, if I late, I'll get scolding and nagging and stuffs. then I turned and saw this indian couple. (should be married le). ask her to help the blind to keep a look out of the bus that he wanna take. then she ok. hais.. but I felt so bad and guilty. I should have wait for his bus to come la.. hais...

went to tampines mall with dear and his mum to make his phone then had dinner at delifrance. (: calamari rings.. yummy.. nice dinner but too bad I can't taste anything. damn nose.. I can't smell fragrants stuffs.. neither do I smell stinks stuffs.. (: (lost my sense of smell.. Temporary)




Saturday, July 07, 2007


Aww.. I'm sick.. sick.. sick...

having flu and funning nose the whole day.. non-stop blowing.. ):
nose pain..

tomorrow I'm the support singer leh.. how can I be sick at this period of time?? hais.. I very xin ku.. I can't smell...

this morning went to bingzheng house to do maths. do 2 papers. but very slow.. cos I take my time.. can't focus ma.. every few min then go blow nose.. how to concentrate! arghh..

feel so terrible now.. gosh.. I'm gonna take my med now.. and rest..

goodnight..

P.S: remember to pray for me k.. (: thanks..




Thursday, July 05, 2007


throat hurt~ how am I suppose to sing tonight as support singer? =x

Uncle andrew's wife was smart. I called him yesterday night using house phone, and his wife answered. I just say "hello"?, and she said, hold on, "come and get ur phone! Esther's on the line"! when uncle andrew answered, I ask him, "how she know is I called"? and he said, "xing ling gan ying". haha.. uncle andrew is just SOO CUTE la.. he's so funny.. I like to work with him in worship.. (: no stress at all.. hee..

thanks people for all ur prayer. (:


no more such problems ANYMORE.....




Wednesday, July 04, 2007


God Knows What's Wrong With Me.

What's really happening right now? I can't take it anymore! I can't take this stress! I can't handle this problems! I can't stop this from going! I can't! I've in no position.. I can't compare cos definately I'll LOSE! I can't fight. I've no energy left. I can't do anything to stop. I'm tired...

COS I'M JUST A THIRD PARTY!

This is what u told me. I know u mean good to me. I know u are trying to help me. but I'm Hurt to know that. I really can't accept. I really can't.. why must this thing happen to me. why can't it be a peaceful one? why can't it be a happy one? why must it be a sad, disappointing and hurtful thing?

WHY?!

I need help. but it just don't work. I'll get hurt in the end.

I might down to depression some day if the problems doesn't solve.

Someone asked, "which is the real u? The happy-go-lucky one, or the mature type"?
I answered, "the happy-go-lucky one".
Someone asked, "then why don't u be urself"?

I kept silent.

Father, Please help me. please let me become my real self again. please stop all the problems that I'm facing right now. please give me the courage, to talk things out, and give me the heart, to be able to take the truth. Father, I'm hurt. Your sheep has injured. Is bleeding.. Father, I pray that Lord, U will really bless us. Pray that everything is going to be fine, and no more such problems ANYMORE! Father, I thank u. May U keep and watch over me. Amen!




Sunday, July 01, 2007


Today's worship was great! ha! I like Kai's rolling today.. (: hmm.. (someone's parents was talking through the worship huh..) =p

lunch provided at the sanctuary. after serive. but I didn't finish my food.. its... eww.. I don't like.. only ate potato salad and 2 nugguts. was so PISSED off with Joseph! Damn irritating! he pissed me off la.. sickening.. so rude!!

went out with the senior youths and serene.. mei shan, mei ting, cejie, peter. went to bugis to buy ntuc voucher, then went to eat chua bing.. (shave ice). and we took neoprints.. but I'm so sad and disappointed.. cos the thingy never rise up.. (jess that time we took that one..) so sad.. haha.. peter looks.. gay in te pics.. =p *oops* haha.. serene, load the pics ok.. (:

All went home but thanks serene for accompany me to wait for them to finish watching movie. (: nice resting at mac.. (: humph.. garlic chilli.. argh.. haha..

really very thank u for ur company just now.. THANK U SERENE!!! (:

I'm very enjoyed today with the youths.. though it's just so few people, but I'm so happy.. and can show my childishness(though peter keep asking me to shut up cos I'm just very high). =D kept singing shi wan ge wei she me song.. (create by me)

wei she me, wei she me, wei she me.
wei she me meishan na me shou,
wei she me meiting na me gao,
wei she me cejie de tou na me da, na me yuan.

haha.. =p and I keep singing.. serene.. nice song right.. =p